The Dragon
by muffinly
Summary: After the events of Jappa and the series finale, Gabrielle heads to the Land of the Pharaohs where she should be mourning the loss of her soulmate. But she seems to be going mad in her grief, and those around her fear she is losing her mind. Still, Gabrielle is determined to bring her companion back from the other side and will travel far and wide, facing whatever dangers to do it.
1. The Land of the Pharaohs

_August 27th, 2018_

 _A SHADOW OF STRENGTH_  
 _by Muffinly_

"Gabrielle," said Xena as she watched her companion sharpen one of her sais, "are you feeling alright? You look unwell."

"I'm fine, Xena." Gabrielle snapped, but then softened, "I'm sorry. Thank you for your concern. For worrying about me."

"I'll always be here for you, Gabrielle." Xena said. Her warrior senses suddenly kicked in and she looked past Gabrielle at the vast desert, "Do you hear that?"

"Hooves." Gabrielle nodded, "Sounds like a small army. Maybe six or seven men."

Xena smiled, proud of her companion's skills.

She was right; soon six men on horseback approached, laughing and snarling and belching. They made Gabrielle sick.

"Don't worry," Gabrielle said, "you stay here. I can handle this."

"Hey girlie," said one of the men, "why don't you let us have your gold? And maybe a piece of you while you're at it?"

"If you were smart," Gabrielle warned, "you'd shut up and be on your way." She stood before the men, ready to draw her sais at a moment's notice.

"We should leave her be." Another man said, but not out of fear. It seemed out of pity, which made Gabrielle irrationally angry, "Did you see her? She was speaking to the wind. She isn't right in the mind. I'm sure she has nothing to give us, and she would be impossible to sell as a slave, babbling to plants and things."

The first man laughed, "Yes, who were you talking to, little girl? Is it spirits? The sands beneath our feet? Pharaohs of the past, or the Gods?"

Gabrielle's skin was an unhealthy pale even having spent days wandering in the Egyptian sun. Rings hung below bloodshot eyes, which she briefly squeezed shut as though to force away some intruder among her own thoughts. She twitched at the man's mockery.

"Shut up!" She said, "Surely you've heard of Xena, the Warrior Princess?"

"I have." Said the man, "I have heard that she is dead. You are talking to a ghost, girl."

Giving into her most animalistic instincts, Gabrielle quickly drew her sais, taking down each man with general ease. The men were unused to fighting formidable warriors of Gabrielle's comparatively short stature, and so she had the advantage. After savagely killing four of the men, she turned to the one who had defended her. He seemed shocked, and Gabrielle was enraged that she still found pity in his eyes.

She hesitated, though, a part of her remembering a time not long ago when she erred on the side of mercy.

Suddenly, white hot pain flashed before her eyes as a blade entered her left shoulder from behind. She immediately slit the throat of the man in front of her and turned to her attacker, the one who had mocked her so.

"Look at you," he said as she stumbled, "so young but so ill. Travelling alone in this place, too. I cannot help but wonder what happened to make you this way. Is your husband dead?"

 _Yes,_ something from deep within Gabrielle's consciousness spoke. Perdicus, of course. Her husband, Perdicus, who had died so shortly after they had wed.

But she knew, somewhere, that it was Xena, her soulmate, who her own mind had meant.

"Xena," Gabrielle moaned as she choked on the blood building in her throat, "help me…"

"You can do it, Gabrielle." Xena said, suddenly beside her again, "You have so much strength inside you."

Gabrielle fell to the ground, and the man smiled victoriously. But Gabrielle had fallen on purpose, and as her body was turned away from his gaze she unlatched Xena's chakram from her belt. As the man approached, readying his sword for the final blow, she tossed the weapon and it lodged itself firmly in his chest. His face frozen in shock, he died instantly, and Gabrielle sighed contently as she noted the lack of any pity in his expression.

"Thank you, Xena," Gabrielle breathed, recovering the chakram and investigating the red splatters that coated her face in her reflection on its equally bloodied surface.

"Gabrielle, you need to find shelter and take care of your wound. You are growing weak."

"What about all the strength inside of me, Xena?" Gabrielle chuckled, a wooziness starting to get to her.

"Gabrielle, I mean it. You need to treat your wound. You are losing too much blood."

"I know you'll take care of me… You always do..." Gabrielle's speech began to slur, "I love you, Xena…"

And there she lay, sprawled out in the Egyptian sand, alone and bleeding.

 _To be continued...  
_

 _Leave a comment, a suggestion, a review if you will. It has been a long while since I have written any sort of fanfiction and I would love to hear what you have to say!_


	2. Return to Greece

_September 1st, 2018_

 _A SHADOW OF STRENGTH - Chapter 2: Return to Greece  
by Muffinly_

Gabrielle awoke slowly in a bed that she found rather uncomfortable. She sat up, and winced as a pain bit her shoulder like dogs.

"She's awake," announced a male voice from somewhere else in the room.

A man and a woman whose dispositions reminded her almost nauseatingly of her own parents, who though she loved them she felt had coddled her far too much, approached her bed. _After all this_ , she thought with resentment, _I am back to where I started_.

"How are you feeling?" The woman asked her, reaching for Gabrielle's forehead.

With an uncharacteristic coldness, Gabrielle swatted her hand away, "Where's Xena?"

"Who?" The woman asked.

"Xena, my companion. She was with me."

"I was on my way to the next village to trade when I found you," said the man, "I had thought you were dead until I heard you say that name, 'Xena.' You were alone. Except for the men that you had killed." He grimaced, "Scoundrels, they were, robbing us farmers blind. We thank you for getting rid of them."

"No," Gabrielle stuttered, panic rising in her chest, "Xena would never abandon me. I have to- I have to find her…" She began to get up.

"I'm here, Gabrielle." The familiar voice was music to the bard's ears, and she visibly relaxed. She did not notice the perplexed looks that painted the faces of her saviors.

"Thank you for rescuing me," Gabrielle said to the man and woman, "I really would have been okay. Here," she reached into her pouch and pulled out a dinar, "for your troubles. I really must be going."

As she again attempted to stand, the woman pushed her back onto the bed, "You need to rest," she insisted, "You are still so weak."

"It's just a wound," said Gabrielle, "I have survived worse."

"You are ill," the man said, "You must regain your strength."

Gabrielle growled in frustration, "Why does everyone say that I'm ill? I am Greek, and light-skinned even for a Greek at that. I am simply not so sunkissed and tanned as your people. I am not sick!"

"I can see that your eyes are red from some grief and lack of rest, and your gaze is wild and unfocused," the woman said. She forced her cool hand onto Gabrielle's neck, "Your skin is hot and your heart is beating twice as fast as it should. Whatever your affliction, it runs much deeper than this wound."

As Gabrielle swung her feet over the side of the bed to leave, the woman pushed her back down. Frustrated, Gabrielle shoved her with all her strength into the arms of the horrified man. Standing finally, fighting a momentary dizziness and an angry pain in her shoulder, Gabrielle quickly located her bag that her saviors had surely recovered from the battle. She slung it over her shoulder and headed for the door, but not before locking eyes with a teenaged girl who was hanging clothes to dry. Gabrielle imagined the girl dropping her menial task and begging, _'Please take me with you! I love to study geography and maps. Oh, I want so much to be like you.'_

But the girl only watched her, warily, and with that pity in her eyes that seemed to say, _Poor girl, I wonder what happened to her?_

Outside again, the bright sun assaulting Gabrielle's tired eyes, she asked, "Can you believe them? All these years and everyone still treats me like a helpless kid!"

"Where are you going?" Xena asked.

"I need to get out of this place. In Greece they know me, who I am- they know who we are… We will be respected there."

"Are you ready to return?" Xena asked.

"Yes…" said Gabrielle, "I have gotten what I came here for."

"Gabrielle…" Xena cautioned.

"No, Xena. I don't wanna hear it." She pulled a delicate scroll from her bag, "It really wasn't too hard to find, I am surprised. But now it is a matter of reading it." She squinted at the neat but unfamiliar characters, "I've asked around but no one can seem to translate this language. I don't know what to do, but I will go to the Amazons until I can think of something."

"Rest there for a while," said Xena, "You have a place there, a home. Clear your head."

Gabrielle nodded absently.

* * *

As the ship to Greece set sail, Gabrielle felt a sudden anxiety. She clutched the side of the boat in a panic. _Xena is dead,_ she thought, as though she hadn't realized it before that moment, _I am alone. I am lost._

She leaned over and vomited into the waves below, her seasickness getting the best of her. She groaned as the strain and movement upset her wound.

"Use the pressure points I showed you," Xena cooed in her ear, brushing her hair back.

Instantly, Gabrielle relaxed. What had she been thinking about a moment ago? It didn't matter, Xena was here.

Seasickness overtook Gabrielle again. Xena noticed she was coughing up more bile and spit than undigested food.

"Gabrielle, are you eating?"

"Uh-huh," she replied absently, pressing the spot on her wrist that somehow calmed her nausea.

"No you aren't, Gabrielle, don't lie to me." Xena said, "I can see how thin you are."

"You too, now? Stop babying me, Xena. I know what I'm doing."

"You need to take care of yourself, Gabrielle. You need to eat, and make sure you are getting enough sleep. You haven't been thinking clearly."

Gabrielle felt hot and anxious again as she turned to face Xena, "How am I supposed to eat knowing you are gone? How can I sleep when every time I close my eyes I see you being dragged away from me?" Her voice had raised to a hysterical shout, "My own grief is eating me alive, Xena, and there is nothing I can do about it!" She peered at the scroll poking out of her bag, "Except one thing," She corrected, softer.

When she looked up, Xena was gone, and she became aware of the other people on the boat, who were eyeing her warily, pitying her but also fearing what she might do.

Exhausted and confused, she slid down to the creaky floor and hugged her knees, willing the spectators to look away.

 _To be continued..._


	3. The Amazons

_A SHADOW OF STRENGTH - Chapter 3: THE AMAZONS_  
 _by Muffinly_

Finally in Greece again and relishing the familiar landscape, Gabrielle reunited with Argo II, who had remained at a stable near the harbor. Mounting the steed, she set off in the direction of her Amazon sisters.

After a few days' ride she arrived at Amazon lands. Walking Argo II through the forest, she soon heard a call of "It's Gabrielle!" as a trio of young Amazons descended from the trees.

"Gabrielle-" One girl blushed and shook her head, "My Queen... your highness… My apologies, it's just-"

"It's okay, Aridike. I'm not your Queen, not anymore. That's...-" Gabrielle paused, thinking, "Who is the Queen now?"

"It's, well…" Aridike cleared her throat, "Neomache, would you run ahead and notify the guard? We will escort Queen Gabrielle to the village."

Neomache nodded and took off quickly into the woods.

"We held a trial, of course, because of how she had betrayed us, and you," said Aridike, "but Varia, she really has changed. And you saw that, after the battle, didn't you?"

"Yes, Aridike. I am happy to call Varia a friend of mine and a friend of the Amazons. If I did not believe in the ability of people to change, well, that would go against everything I have ever stood for."

"Varia is leading us again," said Aridike, "I have never seen the tribe so prosperous. Well, I'm sure in your day-"

"Every people has its good times and bad, Aridike. It was before you were born that I first came to the Amazons, though for me it was only a couple years ago, and then I saw so much life and wealth, but also the brinks of wars."

"Yes, exactly." Aridike nodded, "And I think, considering, Varia is doing great. I had never imagined she could be so thoughtful and strategic, and she cares just as much for our sick and elderly as she does for battle."

Gabrielle's response was a vague grunt of approval. There was a small silence.

"I, um…" the other young Amazon started, "We heard about Xena. We had a funeral here for her, even though she wasn't technically an Amazon. I'm so sorry, you must be crushed."

Gabrielle clenched her fists unconsciously, an unexplainable rage suddenly filling her.

"Gabrielle," Xena cautioned, and she suppressed her emotions.

"But don't worry," added Aridike, "you are free, I'm sure, to stay with the Amazons as long as you need to mourn, and gain your strength. You were, after all, our Queen."

As they approached the city gates, two guards stepped aside with a bow, and Gabrielle was immediately delighted to find that the village seemed to be returning to something resembling its former glory.

She was taken to the Queen's hut, the one, she recalled, once during her visits belonged to her.

"Gabrielle," Varia greeted as Aridike and the other Amazon left the hut.

"Varia," said Gabrielle, "Hi."

Varia stepped forward, and the two clasped hands in an official gesture, and then, looking into Gabrielle's sad eyes, Varia shifted into a hug.

"I'm sorry about Xena," she said.

"I know."

Stepping back, Varia got a good look at Gabrielle.

"Gabrielle," she said, "you look terrible."

"Thanks," joked the bard. She observed the Queen and could tell from her demeanor that Varia had grown as a leader and a woman in the past year. Her eyes did not scan the area as though always looking for a fight, and she held herself with a calmness Gabrielle was surprised to see from the young warrior.

"I mean it," said Varia, "You look half-dead. You aren't sleeping much, are you?"

Gabrielle ignored the remark, "You look great. And the village, I'm impressed."

"Thank you. Every woman has worked so hard to bring this place to where it is, I am proud of all of my sisters." She paused, a blissfulness painting her face for a moment, "There is a hut across the village for important guests. Of course, fit for the former Queen. Listen, tomorrow the council and I are having a meeting to discuss some matters involving crops and things, I would be honored to have you there."

Gabrielle nodded absently, "I won't be here long, Varia, no more than a moon. Probably less, just to rest and figure out my next steps."

"You may stay as long as you need, Gabrielle," said Varia. Then she smiled, "But do remember what happened last time if you again find the urge to challenge me with your fists."

Gabrielle smiled lightly at that.

* * *

"Gabrielle," the most beautiful woman in the world whispered, lips brushing against her ear.

"Xena," Gabrielle moaned, "Xena, I've missed you so much…"

"I love you, Gabrielle." She let her head fall, leaving a trail of kisses along her companion's neck and not stopping as she approached Gabrielle's breasts. Suddenly, she lifted her head and whispered, "You are my Queen."

"Mm," Gabrielle replied, "Don't stop, Xena. Please, I need you."

"My Queen…"

"Xena,"

"Queen Gabrielle!"

Gabrielle awoke with a start, soaked in sweat and feeling feverish, her eyes met those of the young Amazon sent to wake her. She suddenly felt self-conscious and embarrassed, knowing from none other than Xena herself that she tended to speak and fidget in her sleep, she vaguely considered that this innocent young girl had been forced into a very awkward situation.

"Why are you just standing there?" Gabrielle spat, in what some would say was an uncharacteristic lack of self-control, "Did you wake me to gawk?

"You have overslept, my Queen," said Aridike, continuing to use her former title, "Varia has asked for you in the meeting chambers."

Gabrielle attended the meeting and was bored beyond words. There were no concerns of any weight brought up and Gabrielle found her mind occupied with thoughts of Xena.

"Gabrielle," Varia said after the meeting, "are you alright? You seemed so absent."

"Fine," said Gabrielle, "I've just got things on my mind. Varia, do you know of anyone well-versed in translation?"

Varia rose an eyebrow, "No. How could I? Gabrielle, I hardly leave Amazon lands. Why?"

"Nothing." Said Gabrielle, "Just curious."

Days passed, and Gabrielle seemed to be growing more irritable and distant. When spoken to directly at council meetings, she would often have to be called upon twice or three times before she responded, or even shaken lightly by the shoulder until she arose from her stupor.

She dreamed often of Xena, some nightmares and some wonderful fantasies which were in some ways worse when she awoke to her own loneliness.

Xena still visited her, and she took care, at first, only to speak with her in secret lest the other Amazons think her ill, but as the days passed and she began to lose control, the line between reality and delusion blurring again.

Gabrielle thought she would take a walk in the forest, and felt a comfort as a hand wrapped around hers.

"Xena," said Gabrielle, "have you ever thought about how old trees are?"

"What do you mean?

"I mean, when we are born the forest is here, and it is still here when we die. And then the same for our children, and for their children. Isn't that crazy?"

"Is this another one of your theories, Gabrielle?" Xena smirked.

"Hear me out, Xena! Trees aren't like us, are they? The older they get, the stronger they become. But eventually we wither and die."

"Uh-huh…"

"If something can live so long, why don't we? I think that nature makes sacrifices. A tree can live forever, but it cannot move. But we can speak and move and love, and that eternity is what we give up."

"Okay, I can get behind that that," chuckled Xena.

"So, really, we are meant to die."

"Gabrielle…" Xena cautioned, "Gabrielle, you must go on. For me. Get those thoughts out of your head."

"Xena!" Gabrielle laughed, "Don't be so dramatic. It is just a theory. Besides-"

"Queen Gabrielle?"

Gabrielle jumped, and Xena disappeared from her side. She whipped her head around to see Aridike emerging from the woods.

"Gabrielle, who were you talking to?"

"Talking?" Gabrielle lied, "It must have been the sounds of the forest, Aridike. I was just taking a walk."

Aridike nodded slowly.

"Come on," said Gabrielle, "It must be time for dinner. Shall we head back?"

* * *

The next day, Varia approached Gabrielle in the village.

"Gabrielle," she greeted, "how are you?"

"I'm fine, Varia," said Gabrielle, "And you?"

Varia ignored the question, "Listen, Gabrielle, are you okay?"

"Stop asking me that!" Gabrielle growled, "I'm fine."

"Perhaps you should see the healer," said Varia, "You seem so sick. Your skin is pale, don't you see how your hands are shaking?"

"No, Varia. I'm fine. Maybe I am coming down with a small cold or something."

"Gabrielle," Varia suddenly became deathly serious, "Aridike told me she saw you in the woods last night, speaking to the trees."

Gabrielle shook her head, "She was just hearing the wind. I was just taking a walk."

"She is certain of what she saw, Gabrielle," Varia answered, "She said she heard you say the name 'Xena'."

Suddenly exhausted and no longer able to continue her dying charade, Gabrielle sighed, "She visits me, sometimes," she admitted softly.

"Gabrielle," Varia said, caution in her eyes, "You know Xena is dead."

"Death means nothing for us," said Gabrielle, "She is with me, even in death."

"With what you two have gone through," said Varia, "I might believe that she is truly visiting you in some form, but you are clearly so ill; you have been so irritable and distant, and I see a pain and terror always in your eyes. I have seen it happen to my sisters who have lost their mates or seen horrors in battle, you aren't in your right mind."

"You don't know anything, Varia."

"Gabrielle, I need you to understand that the Xena you are seeing isn't real. She is in your mind."

"Shut up!" cried Gabrielle, "I hate you, Varia. You tried to have me killed, why should I trust you? You are worried that I will usurp your power, so you are trying to paint me as insane!"

With that, Gabrielle marched off into the woods.

"Gabrielle," said Xena's calming voice.

"Xena," Gabrielle frantically breathed, "Xena, tell me you are real."

"Gabrielle, I-"

"I'm not crazy, am I? I can't be. I remember, when the furies were inside my head whispering to kill Eve… that wasn't like this. No, that was confusion and insanity. This is all so clear. Then I felt full of evil, but this is wonderful, seeing you."

"I'm here for you, Gabrielle," Xena soothed.

It was exactly what Gabrielle wanted to hear, but it didn't really answer her question. "I know," Gabrielle breathed, glancing up at a tree branch, "I will climb that tree, and I will leap from the branch making no attempt to catch myself. I can feel you, I can touch you. Since you are real, you will catch me."

"Gabrielle-"

Gabrielle shook her head and stopped listening, quickly scaling the tall tree.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she took a deep breath and jumped, accelerating quickly towards Xena's waiting arms.

* * *

 **NOTES:  
Is it possible that I fucked up entire details about the Amazons and their society/leaders at this point in the series? Yes! Ah, I'd forgotten how well we got to know the Amazons in the first few seasons but then how confusing it all got after the 25 year gap... I did my best, and may have taken some liberties. Nevertheless, do enjoy! Comments always welcome!**


	4. The Temple of Tongues

_A SHADOW OF STRENGTH - CHAPTER 4: THE TEMPLE OF TONGUES_  
 _by Muffinly_

Gabrielle awoke in the healer's hut, a dull pain in the front of her head.

"What happened?" She asked, "My head feels like it was stepped on by a centaur."

"It looks like," the old healer said, "you fell from a tree. One of the youths found you bleeding from the skull in the woods. You'll be fine, though. A few days rest is all you need."

Varia entered the hut with Gabrielle's bag of scrolls in her hand, "I thought you might want these to keep you busy. How are you feeling?"

"Kinda like back when you beat me up." Gabrielle smiled.

Varia turned to the healer, "Would you leave us for a moment?"

The healer nodded and left without a word.

"Gabrielle," said Varia, sitting beside the bed, "what happened in the woods today?"

Gabrielle sighed, "I…" she thought back, "Xena was supposed to catch me."

"She's not real, Gabrielle," said Varia, "It's all in your head."

"When I was a girl," Gabrielle said, "I thought that I could tell the future. I called it the 'gift of prophecy'."

Varia nodded, unsure where the story was going.

"My sister, Lila, called me crazy. My predictions were never right. I once predicted a flood when we had a drought, but I told her that what mattered was that I knew something strange would happen with the rain." She took a deep breath, "No matter how much evidence there was against it, I still always believed I had this made-up ability. I think I even still do, sometimes, in the back of my mind."

"Gabrielle-"

"Xena always liked how optimistic I was, always looking at the the brighter side of things and seeing the good in people despite all we've been through. But that was never it. I wasn't optimistic, I was delusional."

"You've been through so much, and you lost the person you loved most in the world," said Varia, "You will get through it. Stay here a while, we will help you."

Gabrielle nodded slowly, but she disagreed. No, she would never get through it. Her mind simply didn't work that way, it clung to whatever it could to believe what it wanted. Which was why she needed more than ever to bring Xena back.

The old healer returned and Varia nodded to her, "Thank you, Thais."

"Yes, my Queen," said the healer said with a small bow.

Varia left and Gabrielle sat, thinking for a moment. She reached into her bag and pulled out the scroll that she'd found in Egypt, staring at the impossible characters, trying to figure out even one word.

"I have never seen such a language in my life," said Thais as she caught a glimpse of the scroll, "I once knew a woman who simply _loved_ to read different tongues, there wasn't one she could not understand."

"Yeah?" said Gabrielle, her interest piqued.

"Oh, yes," said the old woman, becoming lost in a memory, "It is said that Hermes himself fell in love with her and taught her every language Man has ever spoken."

"Where might I find this woman?" Gabrielle asked, her heart suddenly racing.

"Her name is Euphemia, she is a priestess at a temple in Nicopolis." She suddenly arched an eyebrow at Gabrielle, "You cannot go there, not right now. You must rest."

"Uh-huh."

That night, when the village was asleep besides the women guarding the perimeter, Gabrielle silently left the hut and retrieved Argo II from the stable.

"Queen Gabrielle?" Aridike squinted through the darkness as she guarded the entrance to the city, "'Gabrielle, you should be resting."

"Shh, Aridike," said Gabrielle, "I'm alright, really. Don't try to stop me, you know I could subdue you," although there was no threat in her voice.

Aridike thought for a moment and then, concern in her features, nodded.

"Thank you for all you have done for me, and for your concern, Aridike. Take care."

And Gabrielle road off into the night, headed for Nicopolis.

It was a long journey, and she was pleased to finally arrive. She found herself feeling incredibly small in light of the temple's vastness.

"It is beautiful," Xena remarked, beside her again.

Gabrielle did not answer, but took a deep breath as she pushed open the heavy doors.

The hall seemed empty, but Gabrielle could hear the unmistakable rhythm of a quill on parchment. She squinted, and at the end of the hall could see a small old woman, eyes closed but writing away as though she were playing an instrument.

"Hello?" said Gabrielle, clearing her throat.

The woman seemed to look right through her, "Who are you?"

"My name is Gabrielle of Potadeia," she thought for a moment, and stood straighter hoping to intimidate, "companion of Xena, the Warrior Princess, and former Queen of the Amazons."

If the woman at all recognized her titles, she did not show it. "That is your name, and your title," said the woman, "but who are you? What is it you do?"

"I am…-" _a warrior,_ she thought, "I am a bard."

"Oh, another? You would not believe how many bards come to me, seeking to change their stories so that they may be told across the world. Oh, how dull their stories all are!"

"I have something more interesting," Gabrielle insisted, taking out her scroll, "I have this scroll, but I cannot read the letters, and I thought-"

"My girl, are you dense?" The woman scoffed. "I am blind! I cannot translate that for you. Hermes taught me every language, but he angered Zeus who believed only the Gods could surpass language, and so Zeus blinded me to keep me from becoming too strong. I am sorry to say that I can only translate into other tongues what you can read aloud to me."

"It's okay, Gabrielle," Xena said, "There's always another way."

"There's got to be another way," said Gabrielle, panic rising again in her stomach, "something you can do, anything."

"Don't get your tunic in a twist," said the old woman, "I do have a potion that will briefly give you the ability that I have, to understand other tongues, but only for a few moments. But I do warn you, it is known to drive people insane."

 _I already am,_ Gabrielle did not hesitate, "Give it to me, please," she nearly begged, "I can handle it."

After a moment of thought, the woman nodded and went to a shelf full of bottles and pouches. She felt around until she located a bottle full of a brown liquid. She procured a small cup from nearby it and reached for a blank scroll, all of which she passed to Gabrielle.

"Don't drink more than the cup," she passed her quill to Gabrielle, "You may forget what you read. I would write it down."

Forget? Gabrielle scoffed, she wasn't an idiot. But she trusted this woman, and after pouring the cup full of the potion, she gripped the quill in her right hand and brought the liquid to her lips with her left. Bracing herself, she drank.

* * *

 **NOTES: Have you ever noticed that Gabby hates trees? Every time she loses someone close to her (Perdicus, poisoned Xena, Eli, etc.) her first instinct is always to go attack a poor innocent tree to get her anger out...**

 **Xena has dealt with dead Gab but we've never seen Gabby deal with dead Xena for an extended period of time and I think poor Gab royally sucks at coping with that stuff because y'know who she needs to _help_ her cope with that stuff? XENA! And she's fuckin' dead!**

 **Ah, I wrote this entire story in a sudden burst of creative brain power and I thought I would post the thing online 'cause why not? I wanted to wait a time before posting each chapter but screw it, I'll post them as I feel like it!**

 **Thank you for your indulgence!**


	5. The Olympians

A SHADOW OF STRENGTH - CHAPTER 5: THE OLYMPIANS

Gabrielle was suddenly disturbingly aware of her own heartbeat. The wind outside seemed to be whispering to her, and she found herself staring at the wall, trying to interpret the cracks that lined it.

"Gabrielle," Xena said, and her own name seemed to hold more meaning than it ever had, "the scroll,"

The scroll? She glanced at the old woman, now becoming entranced with the wrinkles on her face that seemed to spell out words and paint pictures, seeming then to shift before Gabrielle's very eyes.

"Do not dawdle, girl," the woman said, "the effects of the potion are very brief."

Potion? She looked down at the scroll beneath her and was hardly surprised to see that she could read it perfectly. In fact, she wondered how she had not been able to understand its contents earlier, as it felt as though she had been reading the language her whole life. She looked at the quill in her hand and remembered her duty. She began translating the text into her native Greek, which seemed so dull and familiar compared to what her mind now held within it.

She wrote and read furiously, translating the phrases with little effort, her talent for language and words coming in handy even now. As she neared the end of the passage, however, she shook her head and squinted as the shapes on the parchment began to stop making sense.

She grunted in frustration as dread rose in her chest. She had not completed her translation. She glanced at the bottle of potion that still sat before her, still not quite out of her potion-induced trance.

Frantically, she reached for the bottle. "No, no, no," she mumbled, "I'm not done yet."

She lifted the glass bottle in her shaky hands, but somehow the woman knew what she was up to.

"That potion kills the mind, girl," she said, "Any more and you will surely die, or spend your life hearing voices and and seeing spirits who are not there."

 _Isn't that how I already live?_ Gabrielle's mind sent forth what a moon of denial fought constantly to push back, and she realized that she could not only understand language, but she could understand everything. Suddenly, she understood that she was spiralling into madness, and she would not reunite with her love until she lost her own life, and even then would be trapped for eternity in an afterlife without Xena. She understood that she was nothing without Xena, and she was, presently, without Xena. The shock of the thought caused the bottle to slip from her weak grasp and shatter on her scrolls.

She watched as the dark liquid spilled over each piece of parchment, dripping down the folds. Frantically, she tried to salvage the scrolls, wiping the liquid away with her hands, but only smudging the lettering and adding her own blood to the concoction of ink and potion as she cut her fingers on the broken glass.

An odd sense of calm washed over her as she came down from the supernatural high. Her head began to ache, exhaustion penetrating her entire body. She shut her tired eyes for a long moment, which though it felt like an eternity was not long enough.

She raised her eyes slowly, her mind fuzzy. She glanced at the original scroll again, which she could read no better than she had been able to when she'd first recovered it and was now drenched in liquid. She tried to recall its contents and found to her confusion that she had no memory of what she'd read just a moment ago.

She turned to the new scroll, also wet but the damage was less. It seemed foreign to her.

"This is my hand?" She asked, her actions during her trance escaping her by the second.

The old woman grunted, feeling for a cloth to clean the mess, "Unless someone else is here. This mess is your hand, too. You could help clean it up."

Gabrielle blinked and reached for a cloth folded on a table, and as she turned her head found Xena's concerned gaze. Xena glanced down and gently brushed her hand over Gabrielle's, and the bard was perplexed and surprised to find her palms covered in small cuts.

Suddenly, Gabrielle gasped as she found within herself the reason for her earlier panic. "I didn't finish."

She picked up her scroll, letting the remaining liquid drip off of it.

"I have discovered," she read, "by my own trials the secret that is to return a man to this realm from any afterlife.

"He must acquire, first, the ashes of his fallen's body," Gabrielle nodded to herself, knowing she still kept Xena's ashes in an urn in her saddlebag, "and an item of great significance to his fallen, that may bare connection to him still." Gabrielle's hand fell to Xena's chakram,

"He must, and it is for this step that many do not succeed, find in his possession a piece of a God, be it a hair or a nail. And, further, not just any God, not a minor God of some river, or a Goddess that spends her days among men, but a God with great power within him." _An Olympian,_ thought Gabrielle.

"Next, he must find and gather these herbs, and combine them in perfect proportions with the piece of the God and the ashes of the fallen. Do not be fooled; that this step may seem comparatively simple is a trick, for to first find these plants, that are so rare and unknown, is a trial itself, and then to combine them appropriately requires knowledge of forbidden arts that few men possess. But there are those scattered throughout the Earth who are practiced in dark magicks and, should he win their favors, may aid him in this task." What followed was a list of plants and herbs, most of which Gabrielle had never heard of.

"He must bring the mixture, then, to the place of his fallen's birth, and reciting these words in his chosen tongue:

"'I, with a piece of mortal, and a piece of divinity, connected by the thread of ancient magicks, do command that my fallen be brought forth from the realm of the Dead, to be among the living again until that time comes when he is truly meant to die.'

"He must here slather the item so sacred to his fallen in the divine mixture, and allowing the blood to fall atop it must slay a sacrifice, one that is a part of the fallen, joined forever by…-"

 _By blood…_ Gabrielle mentally completed, the translation having been cut short. An image of Eve entered her mind.

She cleaned the mess and paid the woman by Gabrielle's own insistence for her help. Leaving the temple, she mounted Argo II and road into the woods.

When she came to a clearing far from any civilization, she climbed down from her steed and called, "Aphrodite!"

Nothing. She tried again, "Aphrodite!"

She was growing impatient, "Ares?"

She cleared her throat, "Ares, get your butt over here!"

And suddenly, in two bursts of divine smoke, both Olympians stood before Gabrielle.

"What do you want, Gabrielle?" asked Ares.

"Oh, honey," said Aphrodite, giving Gabrielle a hug, "Oh, you must be so depressed since Xena. I can feel all your love, with no place to put it." She broke the embrace, "Oh, Gabby, are you eating? You look _way_ too thin, and those bags under your eyes are _totally_ not cute."

"I need your help. Well, one of you," said Gabrielle.

"Of course!" Said Aphrodite.

"Wait, wait, wait," Said Ares, "I have been bored out of my mind since Xena's kid started spreading all this 'way of love' stuff, I gotta say I'd like to help. I love when people owe me favors."

"It really isn't much," said Gabrielle, "I just need a piece of hair."

"I just spent _hours_ doing it!" complained Aphrodite, "But anything for you, Gabs."

"Wait," said Ares, "Is this… for Xena?"

"Yes," admitted Gabrielle, "I plan to bring her back to life."

"Oh, Gabby," said Aphrodite, "you really shouldn't mess with things like that. All kindsa ickies can come out of that resurrection stuff…"

Ares yanked out a lock of his hair, "Take mine," he insisted, "I want to be the one to bring Xena back to this earth. Oh, she would owe me bigtime,"

"Wait, now hold on a minute," said Aphrodite, "I want to be the one to help Gabrielle, she is my best friend and I actually like her."

"Well I hate her," said Ares, "and that has to count for something. Bring Xena back with _her_ and she'll be soft and lovey-dovey. You want her to keep on saving the world and fighting bad guys? Then you want the God of War inside her."

"Oh Gabby," said Aphrodite, "Xena already has so much love for you in her. I know how badly you want that love to shine."

"That's your choice," said Xena, "bring me forth out of love or war."

Gabrielle was inclined to choose love, for Aphrodite was a great friend and Gabrielle herself had always been inclined to that path. But she knew that Xena had war in her blood, and she remembered with sadness when Xena had lost that part of her following their crucifixions.

"I will use both," Gabrielle decided, "because Xena is a warrior, but needs her love to keep her on the path of good."

She opened a small pouch, and into it each Olympian dropped a lock of hair.

"Thank you," said Gabrielle.

"Good luck, sweetie," said Aphrodite, "And please take care of yourself."

"Bring Xena back, Gabrielle," Ares said, a pleading fragility in his eyes.

And with that, the two divinities disappeared in puffs of smoke.

"Where to next?" Asked Xena as Gabrielle prepared again to mount her steed.

"The scroll lists herbs the ritual requires. I haven't heard of many of them, and I need someone practiced in magic to combine them and enchant them,"

"So what are you going to do?"

"Ulysses once mentioned a witch on an island called Aeaea," said Gabrielle, "I will travel there. She will have everything I need."


	6. The Odyssey

_A SHADOW OF STRENGTH - CHAPTER 6: THE ODYSSEY_  
 _by Muffinly_

Gabrielle came to a harbor town near enough Aeaea to sail, but she needed a ship. She offered as much gold as she could afford to several sailors, and bribed them with her words and her breasts, but none would take her to the island.

"Men who go to that place are turned to pigs," they would say, or else, "The course would set us on Scylla's path, and I won't risk my crew."

Eventually, her pleas were overheard by a pirate whom she thought immediately mischievous, but something made her trust him.

"Excuse me, my lady," he said suavely, "Apologies, name's Anticles. Couldn't help but overhear. You wanna get to Aeaea?"

"Yes. Can you take me there?"

"Now, what kinda person would want to go to Aeaea? Men lost at sea end up on those shores and they say the witch who lives there turns 'em to beasts."

"I need to see that witch. Can you help me, or are you wasting my time?"

"You're in luck, little lady. For my crew is to set sail for Aeaea today."

"Now, why would _you_ want to go to Aeaea? Like the idea of becoming a pig?"

"They say she has great riches, gold from the Gods and rare herbs worth more than that. My crew and I simply _must_ try our hands at it."

"And risk such a fate? Why?"

"My father was the King of Thieves, and so I am his heir. I can't just sit on that title."

Gabrielle suddenly realized why she trusted this man, "King of Thieves. Your father was Autolycus?"

"The very same," he said, "Did you know him?"

"Yes, I knew him years ago. We were great friends."

"Hmm," he said, "You seem young to have known him in his youth, but he did always like beautiful young women."

"If you are going to Aeaea, I would like to travel with you."

"Hold on, missy. I didn't even get your name!"

"It's Gabrielle."

"Not Gabrielle of Potidaea?"

She smirked, "The very same."

"My father talked about you, and the warrior Xena. He seemed to think that you were dead, but then I heard of the death of Xena just a few moons ago. And here you are, alive, and less than thirty winters old!"

"It is complicated," said Gabrielle, "but rest assured that I am alive, and any son of Autolycus is a friend of mine."

"You and Xena taught him about morality and goodness, and so he has taught me to only steal from the rich and evil. That is why I want to steal from the witch of Aeaea, because of how many men have been lost by her hand. We leave at mid-day; be here if you are to join us."

In fact at midday they set sail, and Gabrielle prepared for the journey by drinking tea to calm her stomach and keeping her finger on her pressure point. Something seemed familiar about the journey, and it wasn't the handsome features of the captain that so reminded her of Autolycus.

"Charybdis," her vision of Xena muttered.

"What?" said Gabrielle softly, trying to hide her speech lest the crew think her insane.

"These are the same waters we sailed with Cecrops, the cursed mariner. The whirlpool, Charybdis is in this direction, I'm sure of it."

Gabrielle's eyes widened in realization and she marched up to Anticles and shouted over the roar of the ocean, "Anticles! If we continue on this course, we will hit the whirlpool, Charybdis, and be swallowed by the ocean!"

"I appreciate your concern, Gabrielle," said Anticles, "but if we turn any west of this course we will surely encounter Scylla, the six-headed monster. There are six men on this crew, plus yourself making seven, and if she takes one of us each in her mouths we will surely perish."

"So will we if we continue on this course into the eye of Charybdis!"

"My father was a great sneak, but I am a great navigator," said Anticles, "We will pass far enough from Charybdis to avoid its pull."

Gabrielle nodded, but was still doubtful. Something inside her told her to be afraid. Somehow, she knew in that moment that Anticles would die.

And they soon found that she was right, as the roar of the water grew louder, and the lookout could see before them the swirling anger of the whirlpool.

Gabrielle heard cries of "Change course! Change course!" and sure enough they did, but there was no sigh of relief as they avoided the danger, for each man knew that he was now headed straight for the jaws of Scylla.

Gabrielle had never seen a monster so horrific, and she had seen, in her day, many horrific monsters. From a dark cave emerged six gigantic heads attached by long, serpentine necks to a body she could not see.

One-by-one, each head came down and snatched a member of the crew in its jaws, until all that was left was one head still wanting its snack, and Gabrielle and Anticles frozen and terrified on the ship.

The head searched the boat, before its gaze landed on Anticles. Gabrielle quickly dove before him, drawing her sais.

"Don't take him," she said, "take me, I deserve it so much more than he does. He plans to steal from the witch of Aeaea, did she not make you this beast? Let him get vengeance for you, and take me."

There was a pause, as though the beast considered her words, but then the head came down over Gabrielle's and took Anticles in its maw. Gabrielle stabbed the great neck with her sais, but seemed to do no damage. She hung off the beast on her blade until it shook her loose and she fell hard against the now-empty ship.

Satisfied, Scylla re-entered her cave, but a part of Gabrielle wished that she would eat her too.

Gabrielle vomited as the ship continued on its course toward Aeaea.

"This is my fault, isn't it?" she breathed.

"No, Gabrielle," said Xena, "They were headed to Aeaea anyway, and perhaps if Anticles had listened to your warning he would have adjusted the course earlier and not drifted so close to Scylla. They would have all perished with or without you, but at least you can now get the message of their deaths to their families."

Gabrielle did not feel comforted, but shook violently as she crawled to a map that sat on the floor and was splattered with blood, hoping her crude navigation skills could get her safely to the island.

When she finally saw shore, she breathed in relief and fear. Would she arrive only to be turned into a pig?

She barely docked the ship and took shakey steps onto the beach, where her knees buckled under the weight of her grief and seasickness.

She seemed to lie there for an eternity. She looked up eventually to see a beautiful woman approaching her across the beach. She was tall, with long hair black as night falling messily over her shoulders, and eyes of an impossibly deep blue.

"Xena?" Gabrielle muttered in her haze. But as the woman approached she could see that she wasn't Xena at all. She had a rounder face and was not nearly as muscular. Gabrielle knew, too, that this woman was not mortal.

Gabrielle pulled herself into a kneel, "Dear Goddess, my name is Gabrielle of Potidaea. I have come to this island because I require your skills in dark magicks to complete a quest. Will you help me?"

The Goddess watched her with those blue eyes, a calculation and sympathy in them that only Xena had shown simultaneously, "Please, call me Circe. You must be starving," she said, "Come into my home, I have meat and wine and you may rest your weary body."

Gabrielle was wary of the woman, but instinctively trusted those blue eyes, and she took the woman's hand as she led her further into the island.

* * *

 **NOTES: So in mythology Autolycus is actually Odysseus' (AKA Ulysses, why do you do this to us Xena writers?) grandfather... Which clearly doesn't work out within the Xenaverse so I just ignored that and made some shit up. Did I just read Circe by Madeline Miller and love it? Absolutely! And Circe's always been one of my fave mythological characters and it's a shame they never used her in XWP. So get ready for some good ole witchy fun!**


	7. Aeaea Part I

_A SHADOW OF STRENGTH - CHAPTER 7: AEAEA PART I_  
 _by Muffinly_

Gabrielle saw huge cats and wolves, but she was unafraid after her encounter with Scylla. What terrified her most were the pigs that roamed the island, as she knew that they were once men.

"It is so rare," said Circe, "that a woman comes to my island. Don't you mortal women know that you, too, can navigate ships and travel? Surely you do. Where is your crew? Did you come alone?"

"I came aboard a crew's ship, but all the men were devoured by Scylla."

Circe nodded slowly and they continued, before the loud squeal of a pig made Gabrielle stop.

"How do I know," she said, "that I won't wake up tomorrow with a snout?"

"Dear girl," she laughed, "do you think I enjoy turning men into beasts? It is out of self-defense. Men come to this island and they think that they might have their ways with me, and I may be a goddess but I am but weak. Magick is the only way I might defend myself. If you don't mean to harm me," she said, "I most certainly will not harm you."

Gabrielle found herself staring again into Circe's blue eyes. She reminded her so much of Xena, and she really was gorgeous. She could see, she mused, why men might want to force themselves upon such beauty.

"I come only to ask for your help," said Gabrielle, "You can trust that I will not hurt you."

They came to a grand mansion, and Gabrielle was amazed that such riches were for the enjoyment of just one Goddess.

"You live here all by yourself?" She asked.

"Yes, though it does get quite lonely. Men do come through from time to time and stay with me."

"I knew Ulysses," said Gabrielle, "He is the reason I knew of you and this island."

"Ah, I knew him has Odysseus," said Circe, "I did love him so. How it hurts to lose one that you love. I do wonder if he is still alive."

Circe sat Gabrielle at a grand dining table and poured her a glass of wine, which Gabrielle curiously ignored.

"That is why I am here, actually," said Gabrielle, "I have lost the one I love most in the world, the warrior Xena. And I intend to bring her back to life, but I need to create a mixture with these herbs," She pulled out her scroll and showed the list to Circe.

"I have these herbs," said Circe, "but if I give them to you now, then you will leave so soon. Stay a while longer, and I will create the mixture for you then, before you leave."

Gabrielle, of course, wanted to move on with her quest as soon as possible, but she feared crossing Circe might result in her own demise. She also did not look forward to the inevitable next step of her journey, which would be to find Eve and sacrifice her in Amphipolis. And a part of her that she denied was attracted to Circe and wanted to remain on the island for a while.

"Fine," said Gabrielle, "I will stay just a while longer. But you must promise to give me what I need before I leave."

The two were fast friends. Gabrielle told Circe stories of her travels, and Circe taught her about herbs and magick.

"This one is Goldenseal," she said, pointing out each of her plants, "and this is Astragalus Root, and this is Henbane, and this is Velvetleaf."

Gabrielle loved learning about magick. It was like learning to speak another language.

"You are a natural," Circe said, "I think you have some witch inside you."

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm a farmer's daughter. I simply enjoy learning," said Gabrielle.

"No, really," Circe said, seriousness in her blue eyes, "there is a power in you. Very small, but it is there."

Gabrielle thought about her 'gift of prophecy'. Maybe she _had_ had some power all along. That made her smirk.

And so she stayed. They would stay up late, talking as Circe worked on her loom. And during the day Circe would work on spells teaching Gabrielle all she knew as Gabrielle fell hopelessly in love.

"You have such beautiful eyes," Gabrielle said one day, lounging on the beach.

"My mother was a river nymph," said Circe, "so they are blue like the ocean."

"What about your father?"

"The Sun God, Helios," said Circe, "My brothers and sister have golden hair like his rays, but mine is black as night."

"Have you ever noticed," said Gabrielle, "that the sun warms black faster than gold?"

"I have lived centuries, Little One, and I have never noticed that."

"Xena would always complain about the sun on her head before I would," explained Gabrielle, "Here, touch the top of my head, and then touch your own."

Circe did and said, "You're right. My head is hotter."

"So you are closer to your father, then, than your golden-haired siblings. Think about those in the south where the sun shines so bright, who have darker hair and darker skin, and in the north with clouds covering the sun so constantly they are even fairer than I. I don't see why golden hair has to be so tied to the sun, when darkness is truly bound to it more."

"How can you be so young and mortal, and yet so wise? What mortal has time for such observations?" asked Circe.

"I have been through a lot," Gabrielle, shrugged, "I have killed, and refused to kill, died more than once and given birth to death itself."

But the more that they bantered, the more that Gabrielle was reminded of Xena and the more desperately she felt in the pit of her stomach that she needed her. She was betraying her. She had abandoned her. And Xena was mad, Gabrielle was sure, because she hadn't been visiting.

There was one herb in Circe's collection that Gabrielle had immediately recognized. _Henbane_. She remembered, all those years ago, or rather, remembered being told as her own recollection was hazy at best, that she had been out of her mind on the drug, speaking to vivid hallucinations and hearing music in the air.

One day during her second moon on the island, in a desperate attempt to find her companion again, Gabrielle sneaked some Henbane from Circe's workroom and ate it on the beach.

From a mist on the horizon, Xena appeared before her, more real than she had been in such a long time.

"By the Gods," said Gabrielle in shock, "Xena, you are _beautiful_!"

"Gabrielle, my love," said Xena, brushing Gabrielle's hair with her fingers.

"Won't you let me kiss you, Xena?" asked Gabrielle, standing on her tiptoes to reach the lips she sought so badly, Gabrielle fell into the tide. She lay there with Xena until the drug wore off and the sun began to set. A pain in her head and a dryness in her mouth, she returned to Circe's home for dinner.

If Circe noticed anything strange, she did not say. Gabrielle continued, every few days, to take some Henbane and sit on the beach with her Xena that seemed so real. But she got careless, and Circe noticed some of the plant missing. She marched onto the beach one day to find Gabrielle in a daze on the sand.

"Gabrielle," said Circe, "what are you doing?"

"Shh," said Gabrielle, "Xena is sleeping. She so rarely sleeps so soundly…"

"No one is here, Gabrielle," said Circe. She pulled Gabrielle by her arm until she stood on wobbly legs and peered into her dilated eyes, "You are drugged out of your mind, Little One."

"Oh, witchy," giggled Gabrielle, "didn't you know? I'm always out of my mind."


	8. Aeaea Part II

_A SHADOW OF STRENGTH - CHAPTER 8: AEAEA PART II_  
 _by Muffinly_

After catching Gabrielle with the Henbane, Circe placed an enchantment on her herbs so that Gabrielle would burn her hand if she tried to touch them. Circe did all she could to care for Gabrielle, and the closer Gabrielle grew to the witch, the more her madness seemed to fade.

In the third moon, Circe began asking Gabrielle to lie with her, but Gabrielle refused.

"I must remain faithful to Xena," she would say. Each night Circe would ask, and this was always Gabrielle's response.

One day, as Gabrielle was writing in the forest, a figure approached her. It was Xena.

Gabrielle was surprised but elated, as Xena had been visiting her less and less frequently.

"Oh Gabrielle," Xena said, "I miss you so much."

"I miss you too,"

"No, I mean I miss _you,_ " said Xena, "I miss your skin, and your lips. I miss every part of you, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle was on fire. This felt so real. Was it a dream? She tried to remember if she'd taken Circe's Henbane again.

Xena led her into Circe's home, and then into the room Circe and Gabrielle shared together.

"I want you," said Gabrielle.

And so they made love, and it was wonderful. But it was different, Gabrielle noticed, and once Xena had fallen asleep she peered over at her lover's face.

She paled. Her blood froze in her veins. For the face beside her surrounded by long dark hair was not Xena's, but Circe's. She grew dizzy and sick and her heart beat rapidly in her chest. In her mind she remembered an old tale of a nymph who was tricked into making love to Zeus who was disguised as her love Artemis.

Gabrielle sneaked out while Circe slept (she was sure Goddesses did not need to sleep, but she supposed they needed to do _something_ to pass the eternity) and sobbed on the beach.

"Oh Xena," she cried, "I am so sorry. I know I can't love someone else. I need to remain faithful to you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. She tricked me. I don't know how, but she transformed herself into you so that I would sleep with her. I wouldn't have if I'd known...-"

"Gabrielle," said Xena, "I just want you to be happy. I know you must move on. Please, Gabrielle, be happy."

Gabrielle couldn't deny it. She _was_ happy. And although she was raped by this woman, for surely that's what it was, she enjoyed herself. _Oh Gabby,_ she mused, _don't you have a thing for bad girls_ _?_

A part of her, also, had known all along that it wasn't Xena. A part of her that she pushed into the back of her mind.

"There's so much darkness here, Xena. I think I want to help her be good, like you. Oh Xena, she reminds me so much of you. I don't know why, but I look at her and for a moment I think she is you."

So Gabrielle did not confront Circe, and the next night when Circe asked if Gabrielle would make love to her, Gabrielle agreed.

But Gabrielle knew that she was still on a mission, and each day she thought to herself _tomorrow_ , but at night when she and Circe went to bed she was so overcome with her own contentment that she decided, _not yet_.

In the sixth moon, Gabrielle began to grow tired of watching over Circe's shoulder as she mixed herbs and asked, "Circe, won't you lift the enchantment on your herbs so I might help you combine them and learn with my own hands? I promise I won't take advantage of them. I am happy now."

Circe granted her request, and Gabrielle relished in the ability to try her hand at potion-making again.

In the tenth moon, Gabrielle began to feel restless, and it was then that a ship came, a crew of lost, hungry men hoping to find some hospitality. Circe led them into her home and fed them.

"Why don't you tell them a story?" said Circe to Gabrielle, "Entertain them, while I ready this wine."

Gabrielle eyed the herbs in Circe's hands, "You are going to transform them, aren't you?"

"Come on now, Gabrielle," said Circe, "Tell them a story."

Gabrielle did. She told the story of how she and Xena first fought Callisto, and the men loved it. Gabrielle had forgotten how much she loved to tell stories to excited audiences.

As she finished, she walked again over to Circe who handed her a pitcher of wine. "Serve them, my love," Circe said.

Gabrielle looked at her in horror. These men were like Anticles, like all of the men she'd met at sea in her travels, even like herself and Xena at times. And now Circe meant for her to bring them to these terrible fates.

"So it's just the two of you out here, all alone?" One of the men asked when she returned with the pitcher

"Yes," said Gabrielle, "I am only visiting."

The men snickered, "I call the little one," one of them shouted.

"'Little?'" laughed the first man, "Look at those muscles. She could take out half of you. Luckily, girl, I like it rough."

Gabrielle couldn't believe it. These men planned to rape her, and although she could easily fend for herself on most occasions, she did not have her sais on her and these were far too many men for her alone. Circe watched from the kitchen as the men began to stalk towards Gabrielle…

"Wait," said Gabrielle, "Please, have some wine to wash down all that meat."

The sick men nodded, and held out their glasses, which Gabrielle filled from Circe's pitcher.

After they all drank, she looked to Circe who spoke a word under her breath. Then, each man slowly before their eyes turned into a fat pink pig.

Gabrielle was horrified. She had done this to them. Though it was Circe's magic, she had served them the wine that contained the herbs.

"Circe!" she cried, "How could you make me do this?"

"Oh, calm down my dear," said Circe, "Did they not deserve it? We simply made them what they truly are. Pigs."

Circe took Gabrielle's hand in her own and brought it to her mouth, but before she could place a kiss on it, Gabrielle snatched it away, "I want to go home. Give me what I came for, and let me leave."

"Oh, dear Gabrielle. You haven't even been here a year. You seem so much happier since you've come here. Color has returned to your cheeks, you seem much more focused. You haven't mentioned that Xena in days."

"I think of her every moment," said Gabrielle. But she had to admit that she was enjoying her life with Circe, and she was sure she was falling in love with the Goddess, "I know that you tricked me to lie with you all those moons ago. You turn these men for rape but did you not rape me?"

Circe looked at her curiously, genuinely confused, "My Love, what on Olympus are you talking about?"

Gabrielle blinked bleary eyes, "I know that you transformed yourself into Xena so that I would lie with you. I know that you tricked me into betraying her."

Circe touched Gabrielle's face, "Oh Gabrielle, I never did any such thing. You must believe me. How could I transform myself into your Xena if I have never seen her face?"

Gabrielle stopped. Dizziness washed over her like the waves on Circe's beach as she became aware of her own denial. She had known it was Circe, hadn't she? Had her mind created the illusion to justify what she already believed was wrong? She thought about Varia telling her that her visions weren't real.

"Think of it," said Circe after the long silence, "stay with me for the rest of your days. You are safe here, and you can write and I will teach you all I know about magicks. The men will keep coming, and you will always have more audiences to tell your stories to without fear of what they might do to you after."

"No, Circe," said Gabrielle with a fierceness in her eyes, "I want to leave. Today."

"Gabrielle, don't you love me?"

"Circe, you are the first one to find her way into my heart since Xena, and I do love you very much. But my heart still belongs to her. I cannot remain here. Even after so many moons together I watched you transform these men to pigs, and I helped you. It's horrific, even more horrific than anything I had seen Xena done. I thought that I could make you good, but you have lived so many lifetimes that my influence is so small to you. Oh Circe, thank you for all you've done for me. But I really must go."

Circe was mad, "You cannot go until I give you what you need, Gabrielle. Only a witch with my abilities can mix your potion. Don't defy me, girl. With a word I could turn you into a lioness and have you by my side for all eternity."

Suddenly, Gabrielle was filled with fear. Trusting this woman was a mistake. She looked into Circe's blue eyes, which no longer reminded her of Xena's.

"You are right," she said, "I will stay here with you, my Goddess."

But that night, after they had made love by Circe's insistence and Circe had fallen into her unnecessary sleep, Gabrielle sneaked from their bed and crept into Circe's workroom. Circe had taught her to recognize her different herbs, and reading her scroll by candlelight Gabrielle quickly located them all from Circe's cupboard.

With Circe's mortar and pestle, Gabrielle began to mix each ingredient. Each herb, and the locks of Ares' and Aphrodite's hair, and finally Xena's ashes; Gabrielle knew she had to trust her own instincts to determine the amount necessary of each ingredient. She was no witch, she knew, but she hoped dearly that what Circe had taught her, and that bit of magick inside of her, was enough for it to work.

When she finished the mixture, she knew, somehow, it would. A feeling of relief washed over her. She couldn't explain it.

She poured the mixture into the urn that had once held Xena's ashes and placed it safely in her bag.

Silently, she tiptoed out the door, the very beginnings of dawn starting to peak over the horizon. As she crept through the garden, a lioness spotted her. And although she had befriended Circe's strangely tame animals, the beast seemed to know she was disobeying its master's orders and let out a great roar.

Gabrielle ran for the ship upon which she'd arrived almost a year ago, but as her feet took her across the beach she suddenly found herself sinking in the sand.

She strained her neck to see behind her, and there was Circe at the edge of the beach, the lioness at her ankle.

"Gabrielle," said Circe, "Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving," said Gabrielle, "I'm heading for my ship. Let me go, Circe!"

"I let Odysseus, your _Ulysses_ , leave and I never forgave myself. Until I met you, Gabrielle. Look at what darkness is inside me. I need your light! Don't make me turn you into a beast, Gabrielle. Don't fight me."

Gabrielle freed herself from the transmogrified quicksand and drew her sais as she backed away. Circe muttered a word and Gabrielle whipped around to see a small crab changing into a horrific beast. Gabrielle fought it with all her might, a huge claw taking a chunk out of her leg. She thrust a sai into its head and as it fell she saw Circe now beside her. Circe held Gabrielle down and forced a potion into her mouth, but before she could speak her spell Gabrielle thrust herself upon Circe in a passionate kiss. And in doing so, she transferred, like she had to Xena on the day of her death, what was left of the potion between Circe's lips.

Circe stared at her in confusion, and Gabrielle smirked as it turned into anger.

"Speak your word, witch," threatened Gabrielle, "and whatever beast you mean to make me, you will make yourself too."

Circe screamed a horrible scream, her anger piercing Gabrielle to her core.

"Smart," Xena whispered to Gabrielle, "How clever you are, my Bard."

Gabrielle backed away, limping clumsily until she reached her ship and watching Circe throw her wild tantrum. Gabrielle turned and boarded the boat, Xena by her side, and doing the work of a six-man crew she set sail for the mainland.


	9. Sicily

_A SHADOW OF STRENGTH - CHAPTER 9: SICILY_  
 _by Muffinly_

Gabrielle knew that she again must choose to sail by Charybdis or Scylla, and since she knew that on her own she would have no chance of steering against the whirlpool, she headed towards Scylla.

Slowly throughout her year on the island, so that Circe would not notice, Gabrielle had lured six pigs onto her ship, knowing that she would need them for her journey back. She felt guilty, sacrificing the beasts, but in a way she hoped that she was putting them out of their misery.

As her ship approached the great cave and the six heads emerged, Gabrielle called, "Great Scylla! These look like pigs, but I tell you they were once men, changed by the witch Circe. They are fat and juicy, leave me and take the beasts!"

It did not seem that the serpent could hear or understand her. A great head dove for her, and Gabrielle realized the only way to avoid it was to hide herself. Again, she stabbed a great head with her sais and hung onto the neck with all her might. As all that were left on the ship were the pigs, each head dove for an animal and ignored Gabrielle, hidden on the beast itself.

As the head that she clung to dove for the final pig, Gabrielle leaped from the serpent and landed back on her boat. The satisfied heads returned to their cave.

Leaving Aeaea and Circe, Gabrielle could feel her madness returning. With each day, her paranoia grew and her loving gaze became wild and unfocused again. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she rambled to Xena.

Gabrielle had also stored food on the ship, but it was hardly enough. By the last day of her journey, she had run out of dried meat and found herself starving. Docking haphazardly near a beach, a dazed Gabrielle stumbled to shore. She picked a direction and focused on moving without collapsing, hoping she would find a village soon.

As she finally happened upon a small town, she fell to the ground in relief.

"Help me," she choked. She knew that her wound from Aeaea had become infected. Her returning madness had her in a feverish haze and the infection was adding to her temperature. Still, all she wanted was something to eat.

Shocked pedestrians surrounded her, "Are you alright?" asked a woman.

Gabrielle shook her head, "Food, please. I'm so hungry."

A shopper reached into his bag and pulled out some bread which Gabrielle greedily accepted.

"Your wound looks bad," said the man, "Let me take you to our healer."

Gabrielle nodded, and on unsteady feet she was helped to the town's physician.

After finding more food for Gabrielle's dangerously empty stomach, the healer rubbed her wound with a stinging poultice, and then another that numbed the pain she hadn't realized she'd felt.

"I don't know what you have gone through, girl," said the healer, "but it has taken its toll. I'm told you were speaking to the wind when you arrived in town. Your fever is down but there is something not right with you. I cannot cure your madness, but if you don't deal with it soon it will be too late."

Gabrielle felt a sense of deja vu. She'd had this conversation many times before. Without a word, she paid the man, noting to herself that she was running out of gold, and was on her way.

Gabrielle walked along the coast until she found the harbor town that she'd first set off from and collected Argo II. She mentioned to a fisherman, too, that the men who had crewed that ship manned by Anticles, son of Autolycus, were eaten by Scylla, and asked if he might to spread the information so that it might reach their families.

She asked, then, if any of the residents had heard of Eli and the new religion that was spreading throughout Greece. To her luck, she heard that a woman had just returned to Greece from India and had passed through the town looking for passage to the island off the south of Italia. _Sicily_ , Gabrielle recognized.

Gabrielle did not look forward to more time on the water, but she was forced to board another ship to Sicily. The journey was long and dull, and Gabrielle was only glad that she did not have to deal with whirlpools or serpents this time.

Finally on the island, Gabrielle asked around and quickly was able to find Xena's daughter in a clearing preaching to a group of Sicilians.

"Gabrielle?" asked Eve, and Gabrielle suddenly felt an immense dread.

"Eve."

Eve stopped her lecture abruptly and joined Gabrielle, one of her followers immediately taking over.

"Oh Gabrielle… Is it true? Is mother…-?"

"Yes, Eve," said Gabrielle.

"Oh Gabrielle, thank you for finding me. I'd heard, but I could not believe it. We must find joy knowing she is in a happier place."

 _A happier place_ , thought Gabrielle, _without me_. Not for the first time, Gabrielle felt a rage against Akemi, whom Xena had chosen over her.

"Gabrielle," said Eve, "are you alright?"

"Fine," said Gabrielle, "Eve, I was in Amphipolis. That evil at Xena's house is back, I need your help to rid it." The lie slid easily from Gabrielle's lips, and she wondered if living with the evil Circe had had an effect on her.

"Oh," said Eve, "I am making great progress spreading the way of Eli," She thought for a moment, "But for you and mother, I would do anything. Yes, Gabrielle, I will go with you back to Amphipolis and save mother's home again."


	10. Amphipolis

A SHADOW OF STRENGTH - CHAPTER 10: AMPHIPOLIS  
by Muffinly

The journey back to Greece was long, but Gabrielle was glad for she dreaded what would happen when they arrived in Amphipolis. When they reached land, she and Eve started walking through a forest towards Xena's home.

"Gabrielle," said Eve, "you are acting so strange. Why won't you look at me?"

"You look too much like her," Gabrielle lied.

"Will you tell me how she died?"

"In battle. I was going to bring her back, but she… she chose…-"

She felt a seething rage build inside her.

"Calm down, Gabrielle…" said either Xena or Eve, she could not tell.

"Shut up!" cried Gabrielle.

"Gabrielle-" Eve started, but Gabrielle looked right past her.

"How could you choose to leave me?" Suddenly she understood Circe's anger, "How could you choose her over me?"

"Gabrielle," Eve said cautiously, "who are you talking to?" But she knew, from the way Gabrielle looked at the nothingness, that it was Xena.

"How could you leave me, Xena? How could you? I hate her! I hate that Akemi!" to Eve's horror, Gabrielle drew her sais, "If you can appear to me, then so can that bitch! Send her over, let me show her what I think of her!"

Eve gently took Gabrielle's wrists and restrained her, "Gabrielle! No one is here. Please, you are going to hurt someone."

Gabrielle dropped her sais and seemed to come out of her brief bout of madness as her delusions faded.

"Oh Eve," said Gabrielle, "I'm sorry, I haven't been myself since Xena died. I can't live without her."

A sudden realization shook Eve to her core, "Gabrielle… what do you plan to do in Amphipolis?"

"Don't test me, Eve," said Gabrielle, "I need her. I know you won't fight me."

Eve sighed. Gabrielle was right, she would not fight her. Gabrielle retrieved some rope from her bag and tied Eve's hands, and then held a sai to the girl's throat until they reached Amphipolis.

Eve could not help but recall when the furies had convinced Gabrielle to kill her. And that had ended with the bard's brains coating Xena's chakram.

Eve tried to reason with Gabrielle, but she could tell by her sleep-deprived eyes and incomprehensible mumblings that the bard was too far gone.

When they arrived at Amphipolis, Gabrielle took Eve behind Xena's old home and tied her to an old tree. How unfair that this stupid tree, that cannot speak nor move nor love her should outlive the love of her life!

"Gabrielle," pleaded Eve, "please don't do this." Though she was not afraid to die, she knew that Gabrielle would never be able to live with herself if she killed her, and if this worked neither would Xena and Gabrielle will have truly lost her.

"I owe it to her," said Gabrielle simply.

"Do you?" asked Eve, "Or does my mother owe it to _you_? She does not belong to you, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle shook her head. She didn't want to hear it. She removed the urn containing the concoction from her bag as well as her translated scroll. She spoke the words and rubbed her potion on the weapon.

"'I, with a piece of mortal, and a piece of divinity," she read, "connected by the thread of ancient magicks, do command that my fallen be brought forth from the realm of the Dead, to be among the living again until that time comes when she is truly meant to die.'

She stood above Eve, chakram in hand, feeling the power flowing around her and hearing the wind whisper.

She looked at Eve in her frightened eyes, and somehow she knew. Maybe it was that bit of witch inside her, or instinct learned from her time on Aeaea, but suddenly she knew. It wasn't Eve.

Her mind flashed to the scroll, to her potion-induced translation, and suddenly she could see it in her mind, as though it were in front of her, and she could understand every word.

 _...slay a sacrifice,_ it said in that ancient tongue, _one that is a part of the fallen, connected by soul. One whose destiny for generations to come is so intertwined with the fallen that his blood might bring him back. Dear reader, if you have read these steps and thought that these terrible tasks are necessary, and there is simply no other option, for remaining on this Earth without your fallen is impossible, then I am afraid this sacrifice is surely yourself. It was, in fact, my own soulmate who returned me from that place beyond this one, and and who rests there now._

Gabrielle stopped. It was her. It was always her. She looked at the chakram.

"Gabrielle?" asked Eve, warily.

"It's me," stated Gabrielle, and she thrust the weapon into her stomach. Deeper, deeper, until she was certain it touched her spine. She choked on her blood, and through her hazy eyes watched Eve's face morph from horror to disbelieving shock.

"Gabrielle!" she heard, and she knew the voice sounded more distant than it was. It was Xena's voice, and Gabrielle's lips curved into a blissful grin, content that her love was near, even if she was inside her own mind. But as she looked into Eve's eyes that were fading with the world into blackness and that were no longer watching Gabrielle but rather the air behind her, she began to understand. Her own eyes closed, their lids too weak to remain open, but what she heard through what felt like cotton in her ears made each painful breath worth it as the life drained from her wound.

"...Mother?"

Eve could see her too, and Gabrielle understood that she had succeeded. And as she felt Xena's hand, more real than she could ever have remembered it, gripping her own as though to keep her from falling away, Gabrielle knew that she was finally free.


	11. Xena

A SHADOW OF STRENGTH - CHAPTER 11: XENA  
by Muffinly

Awareness slowly returned to Gabrielle, and somehow the act of awakening filled her with an overwhelming anxiety.

She wondered, briefly, why she felt so suffocated by a feeling of failure, and then she remembered her quest. She was alive. And if she was alive, she noted with dread, then she could not have completed the ritual, which called for her own demise. If she was alive, then surely Xena was not.

She sucked in a forlorn breath and screamed in rage and frustration as excruciating pain tore through her stomach.

"Xena!" She yelled. She rolled herself into a sitting position, moaning in sadness and hurt.

Soft hands pushed her back down, "Gabrielle," a voice said, "Calm down. You are going to break your stitches."

Gabrielle found within herself the strength to open her eyes and was disappointed to find Eve standing over her.

"Eve," said Gabrielle, "Eve, it didn't work. How am I alive?" She coughed, then groaned in pain as ragged breaths shook her body.

"Mother," she heard, "Come quick. Gabrielle is awake."

Gabrielle soon felt a cool hand on her face, and she opened her eyes again to find Xena's blue ones watching her with love and concern.

"Gabrielle," Xena said.

"No," said Gabrielle, frantic, "You aren't real. My mind is tricking me again."

"I am real, Gabrielle," said Xena, "You did it. You brought me back."

Gabrielle shook her head, "No. No, stop."

"She is real, Gabrielle," said Eve.

Xena leaned in and placed her cool lips on Gabrielle's forehead, and then moved them down to her lips. And Gabrielle was sure, then, if only for the moment, that this was Xena. A tear of joy escaped Gabrielle's eye, which turned quickly into painful sobs.

"Shh, Gabrielle," said Xena, "Relax. You are still weak."

"Xena," said Gabrielle, "What happened? How are you here? How am I here?"

"I watched you, Gabrielle," said Xena, "The dead can hear when the living think of them. Oh Gabrielle, I could feel your love for me all the time."

"Xena," said Gabrielle, "tell me you were visiting me. You were here, with me, weren't you? Talking to me."

Xena looked at her, a sadness in her eyes, "Oh Gabrielle, I would have been with you if I could. I could hear you but I could not visit you."

"No, no," said Gabrielle, "Xena, I've lost my mind. But now you're here, so I'll be okay. Or is this all made-up? Xena, I lost my mind without you. I'm losing my mind, still. My mind is screaming louder than any of the pain of my wound."

Xena placed her hand on Gabrielle's face again, "She has a fever," she said, "Eve, won't you get some of that tea I made?"

Gabrielle panted, "Xena, I'm sorry- I'm sorry about Circe. I never let you go, it was a mistake at first-"

Xena shook her head in confusion, "Oh Gabrielle, I don't know what you are talking about. Shh, please don't worry about about any of that."

"Xena, oh Xena. I felt myself die. Are we in one of those afterlives? Oh, this sure is painful for the Elysians fields."

"No Gabrielle, this is Earth."

"Did you save me, Xena?"

Xena sighed. She rubbed her hand up Gabrielle's back, then peeled back the remains of Gabrielle's mutilated top, "No Gabrielle, Akemi did."

Gabrielle furrowed her brow, in anger at hearing that name and confusion at the revelation.

It was then at Eve returned with a cup of tea that smelled sweet and inviting. Gabrielle moved suddenly to sit and take the cup in her hands, but she recoiled as her wound throbbed and she felt a searing pain in her back.

"The Dragon," gasped Gabrielle, "Oh, I had forgotten about it, Xena. There are so many times that I should have died in this last year. Akemi had been protecting me all the time. Where is she now, Xena? I wanted to kill her. I wanted to kill her more dead than she already was."

"She is at peace," said Xena, "She is with all of those souls, their leader if you will. And I am here with you, my Soul, my Love."

Eve gave Xena the tea and Xena propped up Gabrielle's head and slowly fed her the drink, which was sweetened with honey.

"Oh Xena," Gabrielle said after she finished her biggest gulp, "I've lost myself. I gave you my heart, and my soul, and my mind. And when you left I lost all three."

"Gabrielle-"

"Xena, I could not find love again, not with someone other than you, and don't give me that look, because I did try," said Gabrielle, and then casting a glance at Eve: "I was willing to do the most horrible things to bring you back. And my mind, oh Xena, I don't know what's real anymore. The hairs on my skin rise when there is no danger. I watch the colors in the sky change and I can't remember if the sun is rising or the moon. I see you, wherever I am; I talk to you and people say that I am mad; they whisper like my madness is loud enough for me not to hear them. Oh, but it is, Xena. I shake my head and plug my ears to try and drag the madness away and even in those moments when I feel clear-headed and sane, still you remain, cautioning me, egging me on, telling me not to do anything stupid but knowing that I will do just that." She pulled back as Xena once again rested her hand on Gabrielle's feverish face, but then relaxed and revelled in its cool realness, "I think that I am dreaming, Xena. And when I awake I will find myself back in Egypt, or in a puddle of my own vomit on a ship to Sicily, or else coming off of henbane on Circe's beach, and she will approach me and say, 'it's just a bad dream, Little One. Get that Xena out of your mind and come to bed.'"

Xena petted Gabrielle's hair as she began to drift off into a sedated, feverish sleep, "Shh, Gabrielle. Rest."

"She said that I'm a witch, Xena," giggled Gabrielle, the drugged tea relaxing her tongue, "Can you imagine? I was always certain I was some sort of prophet. A little bit divine, or maybe I had a great, grand-aunt who was a nymph,"

"Or part narcissist," smirked Xena, "Maybe even fully so."

"Don't drink her wine, Xena," slurred Gabrielle, as she fought the claws of sleep, "It will make you a beautiful beast."

Xena rolled her eyes despite herself at her soul-mate's delirious ramblings, "I won't, my Love."

"She is telling the truth, Mother," whispered Eve once Gabrielle was fast asleep, "About her madness. I saw her draw her weapons upon a ghost. It was dreadful. I saw a look in her eye, a look that I could imagine in myself or you, but never in Gabrielle. Do you think, now that you're back, that she will be alright?"

"Madness is not cured so easily. Besides, of course, the Furies' kind," said Xena, "and even harder to rid is the fear that oneself might be mad. Even if she only sees reality, she may not believe that it is so." Xena sighed, "I did not think this would happen to her."

"It isn't your fault. You are not _her_ mother," said Eve.

"But I taught her so much, especially about death."

"Oh mother, think about it. Have you ever been so good at dealing with loss?"

Xena thought about Solon, and how his death brought her to drag the girl twitching painfully before her behind her horse and very nearly toss her from a cliff. And she thought, too, about her brother, Lyceus, whose death made her the warlord she had become.


	12. The Snake

**Indeed I have changed the title - I chose something with less words but more meaning, but yes this is the story that was once entitled "A Shadow of Strength". We are nearing the end now, but I thank you for your kind comments throughout this tale's creation!**

The Dragon \- _Chapter 12: "The Snake"_

Gabrielle awoke in Circe's bed. She clenched the sheets and screamed inside her mind in frustration. Was it really all a dream? Had she really lost Xena again?

She could feel herself being pleasured by the witch, but she only felt pain. More and more painful it became, until she peered down the length of her own body and instead found a horrible serpent gnawing between her legs. She tried, desperately, to kick it away, and she screamed in agony as it tore her leg from her hip and crushed the bones with its teeth. Gabrielle watched in horror as her disembodied leg became the beast's second, serpentine head. It mutilated her other leg and she cried out in pain as that one, too, became a head. And then each arm. And, finally, the first head turned its face to the side and gripped her throat with such force that she could no longer cry out, and as her own head was torn from her body she felt herself become the serpent. As she stared down at her own bloodied torso, she began to despise it, and she dove for it, gnawing relentlessly at her own stomach. Sinking her teeth deeper, deeper still, until she was certain she could taste her spine. She could feel the pain as she did this, but she felt only pleasure.

But as she came up from drinking her own sweet blood, she instead saw Xena before her, dead and mutilated. Gabrielle began to feel sick, the deed she had just done the most horrible she could imagine.

"Xena!" Gabrielle roared, and she felt her gut turn as one of her heads spit out one pig and one man, and as it did this the head disappeared.

The man squealed, and the pig opened its snout and said, "What a fool!"

The next head spit out, again, one pig and one man, and then vanished, and this pig said to her, "What are you truly, dear Gabrielle?"

Again, and this pig said, "You snake!"

And the next: "You slimy serpent, you selfish bitch!"

And the next: "You have run out of victims so you've eaten your own tail!"

"I am not a snake!" Gabrielle bellowed.

Finally she felt her own maw open as she spit out another pig and another man: Anticles, Autolycus' son.

"Look at yourself, Gabrielle," this pig said as Anticles squealed and rolled on the floor, "if you are not a snake, then what on Earth are you?"

Gabrielle looked at her reflection in Xena's dead blue eyes and indeed saw a massive, scaled serpent. She was filled with such anger that the opened her mouth and blast red fire from her throat, scorching Xena's body to ash.

* * *

Gabrielle gasped when she awoke from her dream, and seeing Xena's eyes immediately turned away from them for fear that she might burn them from her skull.

"Stay away from me, Xena!" whimpered Gabrielle, "I can breath fire! I will gouge out your insides and drink your blood! Let me fly away from here - I will go where I can't hurt you."

"Gabrielle," said Xena, turning Gabrielle's face to look at her, "You could never hurt me. It was only a dream."

"Oh Xena, I don't have dreams anymore. I wake up in my nightmares and find them preferable to reality." She took a deep breath, "I did, at least. Until you came back to me. It was awful, Xena. In my dream, I was torn limb from limb by a dreadful monster - surely you have heard of the six-headed Scylla? - and soon I became her, and I tore up your beautiful stomach and scorched what was left. Do you think I am a snake, Xena?"

"You are much too brave to be a snake, my Love," said Xena, "A snake hides and sneaks, it stays close to the ground but you have climbed mountains for what you believe in."

"I think that Circe has cursed me," said Gabrielle.

"Gabrielle, who is this Circe?"

"A witch, who I knew for a year. I lived with her on her island. We did terrible deeds together. I wish that I had never known her, now. She was obsessed with me, Xena. She did not want me to leave, and she forced me to drink her potion. If she speaks her words, if she does her magic, then I will transform into - into some beast, I suppose. She could do it anytime, Xena, and I am sure that this dream was an omen that she will, and I will lose you again."

"Gabrielle," said Xena, "if she was going to make you a beast, then why didn't she do it when you were still on the island?"

"Because she drank the potion too," said Gabrielle, "and if she transforms me then she will transform herself. But she is a Goddess, Xena. Maybe that doesn't matter for her, or she has learned to purge the potion from her body. I am certain that she will do it, Xena. And I will not find peace until I can stop her."

Xena groaned sarcastically, "Gabrielle, I just got back from being dead. Can't I at least take a bath before we head out on another adventure?"

"I love you, Xena," said Gabrielle with a smile, "Are we in your home?"

Xena looked confused for a moment, and then said, "Yes. You are in my old bed. How many illnesses had I recovered from in childhood in that bed?"

"I am sorry about Eve," said Gabrielle.

Xena sucked in a breath, "Oh Gabrielle, you have been so ill yourself. Your mind was fooling you. What matters is that our daughter is okay."

"But had I killed her - and I would have, Xena, I absolutely would have if that was what your resurrection required - had I killed your second child, we really would never be together again, would we?"

Xena did not answer, but instead said, "I am going to take a bath. If you can manage it, would you like to join me?"

Gabrielle smiled weakly in the affirmative.


	13. The Curse

The Dragon \- _Chapter 13: The Curse_

"There is a straight, between Sicily and Italy," explained Gabrielle after some days of recovery, "that is guarded on one side by a great whirlpool called Charybdis - surely you remember Charybdis - and on the other by Scylla, that monster that had Ulysses met. Scylla will take six men off of any ship, and Charybdis will surely swallow us whole.

Xena shrugged, "Then we go through Italy. We will take a ship to the west and then another down to this island. Like attacking an army from behind."

"And how will we find a ship that will take us to Aeaea?" asked Gabrielle, "The only captain willing to go, and only for Circe's riches, was Autolycus' son, who found his demise in Scylla's jaws with the rest of his crew."

"Oh Gabrielle," said Xena, "did you forget that I was once a pirate? We will hijack one."

When she had adequately celebrated her mother's return and she was sure that Gabrielle would live, Eve left to resume her destiny that was to spread the ways of Eli.

Xena and Gabrielle stayed in Amphipolis as Gabrielle recovered, but it wasn't long before the younger woman grew restless, anxious to rid the threat of Circe from her conscience. So as soon as she was able, she insisted she and Xena begin their journey back to Aeaea.

They were both silently overwhelmed with joy and nostalgia as they hiked through the countryside of Thrace. Looking ahead, Xena pictured the young, naive farmgirl smiling beside her, long hair blowing in the Thracian breeze and green eyes full of wonder about the world. But when Xena turned back to catch a glimpse of the bard, she saw wisdom and pain that she never could have pictured in her soul-mate.

As the sun began to set and Gabrielle seemed nowhere near stopping, Xena suggested they make camp.

"Why don't I go and catch us some dinner?" said Xena, "Nothing but berries and bread in our packs; you know I never liked sweet things."

"'Cept me," joked Gabrielle, "No, Xena. You have taken such care of me these last weeks. You just relax, I will find us some food."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Xena," said Gabrielle, "I'm not a little girl anymore."

Xena smiled, "I know." She laid back on her bedroll, kicked off her boots, crossed her legs, and patted her belly, "Alright, lady. I could go for some rabbit."

Gabrielle gave Xena a long kiss on the lips and said, "I love you," before she crossed into the dense woods.

It did not take Gabrielle long to find a rabbit - but as she readied her sai, she heard a sound behind her. She turned, but saw nothing, and when she turned back to the rabbit she found a massive lioness in its place, stalking her like pray.

She slit its throat in self-preservation, and started to back away, but turning around she saw two more cats before her. She slaughtered these as well, but more only took their places. She was surrounded, and kept killing them but they would not stop coming. She reached for the chakram - but Xena had it. She collapsed to her knees, head in her hands, willing the madness away. But still she screamed: "Xena!"

Xena heard the cry and was by Gabrielle's side in seconds. She saw her Love huddled on the floor, dripping in red, surrounded by the carcasses of rabbits and deer and birds.

"Gabrielle," said Xena, "Gabrielle, what happened?"

"Xena, why am I still mad?"

"What?" asked Xena.

"I thought that my mind would return when you did. But it has not, and even worse now you must see me - like this." She sobbed pathetically into Xena's arms.

"It will get better, Gabrielle," said Xena, "I will never leave you again. I promise. Nevermind dinner. We have that bread. Come back to camp and let's get some sleep."

At night Gabrielle tossed and turned in Xena's arms, her tattoos paining her as though they were muscles sore after the exertion of saving her life. She slithered her way out of Xena's embrace, careful not to wake her, and made her way to a stream.

There Gabrielle removed her top and laid it beside her. She cupped her hands underneath the stream and used them to pour cool water across her back, instantly soothing it.

She did this a few more times before catching a glimpse at her reflection in the moonlit stream. She twisted slightly, peering at the serpent across her back, staring into its hateful eyes.

She let the water fall over her back once more and moved her hand slowly, gently, to the beast's face, which mocked her so constantly where she could not see it. She felt the rough texture of the mark, which she could barely differentiate from her untouched skin. And then she curved her fingers and dug her nails into its eyes, hating that it must always see her in her weakest moments and willing it to look away.

She could hear footsteps approaching her and she asked, "What did Akemi say when you left?"

Xena stopped, surprised at the question, "Gabrielle, what are you talking about?"

"When it was time for you to come back to Earth. To me. When you left Akemi in the afterlife with the other souls and you came back here. What did she say?"

"I-" Xena stuttered, at a loss for words.

"She was angry, wasn't she?" said Gabrielle, "I bet she raged, and cursed my name."

Xena did not answer, but Gabrielle looked deeply into her eyes and she could tell that she was correct.

"Akemi, that- that selfish bitch!" cried Gabrielle, "Those souls are still at peace, aren't they? Even though you are back on Earth. She lied to you about all that, just to be with you."

"I thought you had forgiven Akemi, Gabrielle? After all, she had been protecting you." Xena indicated Gabrielle's tattooed back, and was concerned to find blood dripping down it from her small self-inflicted injuries.

"Ha!" said Gabrielle, and now even Xena feared the madness in her eyes, "You mean this curse that keeps me from death? Oh Xena, you're such a fool! Clever Akemi, disguising this punishment as a gift. With you in the afterlife and myself trapped on Earth, unable to join you as long as this serpent guards my beating heart? Akemi truly would have you all to herself. But I won! Your little bitch wanted so bad to keep me from you that she brought us back together!"

"Gabrielle, what happened to your back?" asked Xena, lightly touching the wounds.

Gabrielle flinched, "Don't touch me!"

Xena was taken aback - and noticeably hurt.

"I'm sorry," said Gabrielle, "Xena, I- I don't know what's wrong with me. I have so much hate in me that I never had before."

"You are right, you know," said Xena, "Akemi was not pleased to see me go. She said that you had become a monster, and that I would never want to be with you again."

"And what did you say?"

"I said that you once saved me when I'd become a monster, and so I would do the same for you."

"And the souls?"

Xena shrugged, "Maybe Akemi truly believed it. Maybe we just waited out the clock long enough. The souls have moved on. Akemi gave you that gift to protect you, Gabrielle. It wasn't to keep you from me."

"Do you believe that?" asked Gabrielle.

Xena thought for a long moment, "I want to. I don't like to admit when I make mistakes."

"Neither do I," said Gabrielle.


	14. The Return

The Dragon \- _Chapter 14: The Return_

When they came to the coast of Greece, Xena and Gabrielle boarded a ship to Italy.

From there, they crossed the mainland and ran into some Roman pirates. Gabrielle revelled in hearing Xena's war-cry, and the two of them brought the pirates to their knees. Xena announced, then, that they would be going to Aeaea and the pirates reluctantly obeyed her.

Gabrielle was sick on the long journey, but was comforted by Xena's presence.

"I was sure I had gotten over my seasickness," said Gabrielle, "but it returns whenever it is the most embarassing to me-" She paused to lean over the side of the ship and vomit, "Like in front of these pirates."

"Don't worry about it," said Xena, "these pigs'd be all over you no matter what's comin' out of your mouth."

Gabrielle was shaken by that word: "Pigs". She felt faint, suddenly, and her breaths grew shallow and rapid. She clutched the side of the ship, her nails digging into the wood, growing a whole different kind of nauseous.

"Oh, come on Gabrielle, it's not _that_ bad," joked Xena, trying to lighten her friend's mood. But Xena could quickly sense that something was not right, "Gabrielle?"

Gabrielle's heart beat hard in her chest; her breaths were too short. She felt a familiar panic, and a guilt so overwhelming that she did not think she could face it.

"Oh Gabrielle, what is it?" asked Xena, looking around them for signs of trouble.

"I have killed men, Xena," said Gabrielle.

Xena was confused, "I know, Gabrielle. We've been through this. We've both killed many people."

"No Xena," said Gabrielle, "I mean that I have killed men and brought forth beasts. Men who might have been good men, good men who might have had families. I fed them a potion and turned them into pigs. And then I fed them to the beast Scylla after that."

Xena was shocked by this news, and did not have words of comfort for Gabrielle, "Why?"

"Because Circe told me to," said Gabrielle, "She gave me the pitcher and said, 'fill their glasses before they thirst for something more!'"

Xena got it then, "And did they?"

"What?"

"Thirst for something more."

Gabrielle nodded, "But so? No one deserves such a fate as I gave them. No murderer, no warlord, no rapist."

"It sounds to me," said Xena, shrugging, "like you only made them what they truly are."

Gabrielle was horrified to hear these words from Xena's own mouth, "Would you do such a thing?" she asked, "Turn a man into a pig?"

"If he laid a hand on you, I would turn any man into whatever creature you pleased," said Xena.

"Oh, Circe is here with me," cried Gabrielle, "If not her magicks inside my head, then her memory. We must rid this place of her, Xena! We must, or I will never find peace."

"You lost your patience awaiting my return! It is not long now, my Love. I know you feel guilt, but whose words spoke the spell? Not yours, I am sure. And I know that you would not have done such a thing if it weren't in your own self-defense. Please do not let guilt consume you," said Xena, "That is how I ended up dead."

"Which time?" joked Gabrielle.

"All of them," said Xena.

Finally they arrived on Aeaea, and the pirates begged to remain on the ship rather than face the cruel witch and become pigs. Xena exited the boat first, her chakram glistening in the island sun.

Circe greeted her with a kiss on the hand, "Oh my," she said, "another woman! I can't believe it. And so beautiful."

Xena was unimpressed by the flattery.

"And a warrior, too! Your weapons-" Circe halted her praises when she saw the chakram hanging from Xena's armor, recognition in her eyes, and then hatred, "Xena."

Xena nodded stoically.

Circe's gaze shifted to one of longing, "Is… Gabrielle with you?"

And as though compelled by the Fates, Gabrielle in that moment stepped from the ship to stand beside Xena.

"You… I knew you would return!" spat Circe.

Gabrielle drew her sais, "You have lived to spread pain long enough, Circe."

"Ha!" Circe said, "I am a _goddess_ , Gabrielle! You think that you can kill me?"

"Don't you know?" said Gabrielle, "or are you too isolated on this island? Xena is a God-killer. She killed Athena herself."

"Is that why you are here?" asked Circe, "To kill me?"

"Or at least to stop your disgusting ways."

"You drank my potion, Gabrielle," said Circe, "With a word I could make you whatever beast you truly are."

"Oh," said Gabrielle, "but you drank the potion too."

"I know what I truly am," said Circe, "I am a goddess. I am a witch. I am immortal. But you, Gabrielle, you are a cruel snake, using others to achieve your goals, then throwing them away, or swallowing them whole."

Circe turned her head and a tree in the forest began lumbering onto the beach, their branches becoming wild arms.

Xena drew her chakram and tossed it at a gangly limb - but the weapon only bounced off the wood and flew back into her hand. Xena fought the tree monster with all of her might, her sword hacking away at leaves and branches but not slowing down the fiend.

She began to back away to try a different approach, but behind her a crab had grown into a hideous beast poking its claws at her flesh. She sliced one claw from its body with her sword but more beasts began growing from the sand. She leaped to land behind the tree, but was caught by a grotesque bird-like creature in mid-air, who dropped her into the waiting arms of the tree-man.

The tree closed its branches around her throat, and Xena gasped for air, clawing at the wood. Gabrielle watched this in horror.

"Circe, stop!" Gabrielle pleaded, "You'll kill her!"

"Good," said Circe, "She is meant to be dead, is she not?"

"She is meant to be with me," said Gabrielle, "I swear to you, Circe, let her go or…"

"Or you'll kill me?" Circe laughed, "Don't you know that you are powerless, Gabrielle?"

"If you would use that curse on me, you would have done it when I was last on the island," said Gabrielle.

Circe's laughing eyes turned threatening.

"You don't know what you are, Circe. You are scared about what that transformation may make you. You have no idea what you are truly meant to be."

"My Love - you don't know what you are saying. You're mad, remember?" Circe said.

Xena choked, "Gabrielle…" Her face turned a pale blue like her eyes and she began to lose consciousness.

"You made a mistake teaching me your magicks," said Gabrielle, "I have heard that word you use to work your spells. The one you use on the men."

"Gabrielle, I am warning you. You may make me more powerful than ever before," said Circe.

"Or I might make you into a bug," said Gabrielle. She glanced at Xena, "Let her go."

Circe thought for a moment, but her hatred was her priority: "No."

As Xena's life faded from her eyes, Gabrielle grasped the power she hoped was inside her and spoke a word so softly one would think she said nothing.


	15. The Dragon

The Dragon \- _Chapter 15: The Dragon_

Immediately, the tree-man's grasp slackened as it returned to the form that Nature had intended for it, and the monsters around it, too, reverted to their original forms and Xena collapsed, gasping for breath.

She looked up to find Circe bent over, clutching her chest. She ran to Gabrielle, who was writhing in the sand in immense pain.

"You-!" Circe wailed.

Xena studied the witch for a moment and then said, "You are a mortal."

"I'm not!" said Circe, "How could _this_ be my true form?"

"Easy," said Xena, "Being with Gabrielle brought out the humanity in me, too." She petted Gabrielle's head, "Gabrielle? Gabrielle, can you hear me?"

Gabrielle writhed in pain as blood poured from her nose and her mouth, "Oh, Xena," Her bones twisted horribly and seemed to Xena's ears to crack and grind against each other.

"I'm here," said Xena.

"Xena, get away," Gabrielle choked, "I'll hurt you."

"No," said Xena.

Circe sent her lioness at them, and the cat ran for them in rage.

Xena placed herself protectively on top of Gabrielle, and as the feline lunged for them Gabrielle transformed into a magnificent creature. Her clothes tore from her body and she grew to the size of a Titan. Her skin grew green scales and massive wings sprouted from her shoulders, lifting her off the ground with Xena on her back.

The now mortal Circe cried out, "Kill me, you beast!"

Gabrielle clutched the witch in a fantastic talon and prepared to toss her into the ocean, but Xena said, "Gabrielle, don't!"

And instead the dragon flew to Circe's home and dropped her into the pig pen behind her house.

"So you think that you have conquered!" cried Circe, "O but how I thank you for this mortal form, Gabrielle. You have rescued me from the curse of Eternity! I will see you, one day, at the banks of that river in Tartarus and we can be together again! Or better yet, my love Odysseus will meet me in Elysia, his Penelope suffering in the fires of Hell! I thank you, Little One, for this gift you have given me. You may try to keep me from Death by flying off and leaving me in this pit to live out my mortal days, but when that day comes that the Fates cut my now vulnerable thread I will say 'Bless that Gabrielle, who made me human! Who gave me the gift of Death!' O my Love, I will not be alone for much longer!"

Gabrielle sucked in a breath and blew red fire across Circe's garden, destroying her herbs, and then crossed the island with Xena on her back, the cruel witch Circe shouting at her curses and praises.

They flew down the strait that Gabrielle had crossed twice and Xena knew that it was Scylla whom Gabrielle sought. Gabrielle flew before Scylla's cave and roared a threat. The six-headed beast approached and growled in fury.

Gabrielle maneuvered around the monster as Xena sliced off each head, and when only one head stood Gabrielle herself turned her own neck to the side and clutched its throat in her massive jaw, tearing it from its body, avenging Autolycus' son and his crew. She lit the cave with a flame born from her tongue and left the raging fire for Greece.

Reaching land, Gabrielle bent her head and allowed Xena to dismount the dragon's body.

Xena gaped at the magnificent creature before her, and was in awe. Coming out of her brief trance, she approached the beast and looked into Gabrielle's eyes.

"You rescued me from the monster I'd become many times before," said Xena, "It is my turn to rescue you." She hugged the massive neck and closed her eyes. She felt the air shift and heard the wind whisper and when she opened her eyes she was embracing the woman she loved, her blonde hair matted and sweat-soaked and her nude body exhausted and weak.

"Thank you," said Gabrielle, her dazed eyes landing on Xena's.

"I didn't do anything," said Xena, "You spared Circe."

"No I didn't," admitted Gabrielle, "I know best that it is far worse to be forced to live out your days without the one you love than to die by her hand."

"I love you, Gabrielle," said Xena.

Gabrielle smiled softly before her pale green eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted into Xena's arms.

Xena knelt with her on the ground, shielding the naked girl from the cool wind, and found that the bard's bare back was unmarked, as though the dragon that once graced it had never been there at all.

The young bard did not dream. And although fire continued to rage in her mind and sadness still filled her heart, it would seem to Xena, had this been the first time she beheld the girl, that Gabrielle of Potidaea had never suffered any pain in the world.

 **The End.**


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